By the sandpit in the residential compound, six-year-old Xiao Ming and Xiao Fang were famous 'rivals'. They had played together since childhood but always loved to compete with each other.
Xiaofang's family was well-off, so she got new toys every few days. Today it was a walking doll, tomorrow a glowing remote-control car, the day after a shiny princess dress. Each time, she would hold it right under Xiaoming's nose, shake it, and say proudly:
"Look! I have a new one again! Do you have one?"
Xiaoming's family was ordinary, and toys were pitifully few. After being shown off to repeatedly, he felt increasingly upset. On this day, Xiaofang came over again with a singing Barbie doll and deliberately sang it three times in front of him.
Xiaoming finally couldn't take it anymore. He looked around, confirmed there were no adults nearby, then abruptly pulled down his pants, pointed at his little penis, and said loudly:
“This! You’ll never have it!”
Xiaofang was stunned at first, then her eyes lit up. Not only was she not shy, she also quickly took off her pants, pointed at her little bottom, puffed out her chest, and retorted:
“My mom said — as long as you’ve got this, that thing of yours can have as much as you want!”
Xiaoming froze completely on the spot, his mouth hanging open wide, unable to speak for a long time.
Seeing him dumbfounded, Xiaofang became even more pleased with herself. She deliberately pulled up her pants and then took them off again on purpose, repeating her mom's 'words of wisdom'.
The two just confronted each other by the sandpit like that, one holding up the evidence of “never had,” the other holding up the confidence of “as many as you want,” until Xiaofang's mother shouted from afar for her to go home for dinner, and this “battle of the century” was forced to end.
From that day on, Xiao Ming no longer dared to compete with Xiao Fang over toys. And Xiao Fang became the “ultimate winner” among the neighborhood children. Whenever some boy wanted to show off something, she would lazily say:
"Want to compare and see whose stuff is more impressive?"
The children seemed to understand vaguely: Xiao Fang seemed to have mastered some secret of dimensional reduction strike.
After Xiaoming returned home, he secretly told his dad about this. After listening, his dad first laughed heartily, then seriously lectured him: 'From now on, you are not allowed to take off your pants outside! Especially not to compare that with girls!'
As for Xiaofang, after hearing her daughter's retelling, her mother was both annoyed and amused. She pulled her into the room and said seriously: "Mom was just joking... Don't ever take off your pants in public again! Do you hear me?"
But in the children’s world, this sentence had already become a legend.
Many years later, Xiaoming and Xiaofang had both grown up. At a class reunion, when someone brought up childhood antics, Xiaoming still couldn't help covering his face: "Don't bring it up. I still remember how stupid I was back then."
Xiaofang smiled and raised her glass: "Who told you to take yours off first? I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine."
The two looked at each other and smiled. That childish, unrestrained back-and-forth became the most absurd—and most unforgettable—page of their youth.
And the phrase 'My mom said, with this, you can have as much of that thing as you want' has become a classic joke occasionally recounted in our circle of friends—reminding everyone: sometimes, the real winner isn't the one who has something others don't, but the one who knows how to turn someone else's pride into their own punchline.
After graduating from elementary school, Xiaoming and Xiaofang entered the same middle school but were in different classes. They saw each other less often, but the legend of 'taking off pants' quietly spread among the boys and girls.
Once during PE class, several boys egged Xiao Ming on to tell the story from back then again. Xiao Ming blushed and refused to say anything, but they only egged him on more. Finally, he had to briefly recount what happened, emphasizing at the end:
“I was later lectured by my dad, so none of you should imitate me!”
On the girls' side, Xiaofang's version was even more complete. She told her best friends the exact original words of the sentence "my mom said" without changing a single character. After hearing it, the best friends laughed so hard they rolled around on the sports field, all saying: "Your mom is way too good with words!"
In the second year of junior high, the school organized a social event. Xiaoming and Xiaofang were assigned to the same group to play a game. One round of the game was “truth or dare,” and someone deliberately drew Xiaoming, asking him: “What is one thing you most regret from childhood?”
Xiaoming glanced at Xiaofang, who was also looking at him, and they both laughed out loud simultaneously.
Xiaoming answered honestly: "Most regret taking off my pants in public and losing completely."
The whole venue roared with laughter. Xiaofang then delivered the final blow: "He deserved to lose. Who told him to start trouble first."
The atmosphere instantly relaxed. From then on, the 'hostility' between them gradually turned into familiar banter. They would nod when meeting, and occasionally complain together about heavy workloads.
In high school, Xiao Fang's family circumstances were still very good, and she would still buy novel things. Once, she waved the latest limited edition headphones in front of Xiao Ming, instinctively wanting to show off, but suddenly stopped and said with a smile:
"Forget it, I won't compete with you. I can beat you at toys, but if it's anything else... I'm afraid you'll want to take your pants off again."
Xiaoming didn't know whether to laugh or cry: 'Can you just forget about this?'
Xiaofang blinked: "Unforgettable. That was my shining moment."
After they separated in college, the two of them had less and less contact. It wasn’t until the classmates’ gathering in the year they graduated that everyone got together again. After a few rounds of drinks, someone brought up the old story again and asked Xiaoming and Xiaofang to “replay” it in public.
Xiaoming raised his wine glass and said helplessly yet amusedly, 'I declare, I lost back then. I accept defeat wholeheartedly.'
Xiaofang also raised her glass: "Then I declare that my mom is the most eloquent mom. That sentence saved my childhood dignity."
The whole venue laughed again. Someone heckled them to reenact it, but the two refused no matter what, only agreeing to read the dialogue once more.
“You’ll never have this!”
"My mom said, with this thing, you'll have as much of that as you want!"
After reading it, everyone present laughed until they bent over. Even the usually most serious teacher-level figure couldn't help but say, 'This child's mother has such strong logic.'
After the gathering ended, Xiao Ming walked Xiao Fang home. On the way, he suddenly asked, 'Do you still compare things with others now?'
Xiaofang shook her head: "No. Growing up, I realized that the truly important things aren't the ones you can show off."
Xiaoming nodded: "Me too. But that line, I still find it amazing to this day."
The two stopped under the streetlight and exchanged a smile. Childhood absurdity, adolescent awkwardness, and adult relief were all fused into that smile.
Later, Xiaoming became an engineer, and Xiaofang became a designer. They didn't end up together, but became old friends who contacted each other from time to time. Whenever life brought a moment to show off, or to be shown off, one of them would always send a message to the other:
"Be careful, don't make me take off my pants."
Another person then replied:
“Don’t forget, I have the final say.”
That innocent, unfiltered conversation became their own private code. It reminded them both: some victories aren't about possessing something, but about responding cleverly, quickly, and leaving the other speechless.
And in the more distant future, when they have their own children, they might also tell this story to the next generation—of course, first adjusting the explicitness to an appropriate level, then watching the children's somewhat understanding expressions and laughing themselves.
Because a truly good joke never goes out of date. It simply changes audience and continues to let people, amid their laughter, remember those times when they once argued seriously.
Time passed quickly. The year Xiao Ming turned thirty, he got married, and the bride was his university classmate. At the wedding, almost all of his childhood playmates were present, and Xiao Fang also came, bringing a gift.
During the toast, someone started teasing Xiao Ming to share embarrassing childhood stories. Xiao Ming adamantly refused, but Xiao Fang smiled and helped him out: 'We can talk about other things, but let's skip that one. We should leave a little dignity for the groom.'
The groom immediately sighed in relief, privately thanking Xiao Fang. Xiao Fang just raised her wine glass: 'Winning against you once when we were kids is enough.'
Xiaofang herself had always focused on her design work and didn't meet the right person until her early thirties. At the engagement party, Xiaoming was invited as an old friend. During the banquet, someone asked about her proudest childhood moment. After thinking, she finally just said: "Once during a debate, I used one sentence to completely shut the other side down."
No one pressed for details, but Xiao Ming heard it clearly from across the way and couldn't help but smile.
After the two of them each started families, they had less and less contact, but they never completely lost touch. They would send greetings on holidays and festivals, like posts in each other’s朋友圈, and occasionally, when they saw snippets of the other’s life, they would stop and look a little longer.
After Xiaoming had a son, he once took the child back to the old neighborhood to play. The sandpit was still there, but the equipment had been replaced with new ones. His son was digging in the dirt, and Xiaoming stood beside him, suddenly remembering the scene from many years ago when he took off his pants, his face slightly flushing.
Coincidentally, Xiaofang also arrived with her daughter. The two adults locked eyes from a distance, both stunned for a moment before bursting into laughter.
The child played in front, while the two of them chatted in the back.
Xiaoming spoke first: 'Remember this place?'
Xiaofang nodded: "I remember. I remember your expression then, even more priceless than now."
Xiaoming didn't know whether to laugh or cry: 'Can you please stop talking? My son is right here.'
Xiaofang lowered her voice: "Don't worry, I won't corrupt the next generation. But..." She looked at her own daughter, then at Xiaoming's son, "If they ever start showing off to each other in the future, I might tweak that sentence a bit before telling her."
Xiaoming quickly waved his hands: "Definitely don't. Let them compare toys normally, not other things."
The two looked at each other and smiled. The laughter in the sandbox and the sound of shoveling dirt overlapped with those from years ago, yet were completely different.
Several years later, Xiao Ming’s son and Xiao Fang’s daughter went to the same elementary school. At parent-teacher meetings the two met again and became, in the truest sense, “colleague parents.” Once the school organized a parent-child activity that required parents to cooperate in performing a small skit. Xiao Fang suggested doing a short play, and Xiao Ming immediately became alert:
"What do you want to act as?"
Xiaofang blinked: "Don't worry, no taking off pants. Just a regular toy battle."
In the end, they performed a mild version of 'the boy has a new remote-control car, the girl has a new doll, and finally they exchange toys.' The children watched happily, completely unaware that the two parents on stage actually harbored a completely different, much more explicit original story in their hearts.
After the event, Xiaoming said seriously, 'Thank you for never spreading the original version everywhere.'
Xiaofang shrugged: "It wouldn't be bad to spread the word. But keeping it as a secret between two people is more interesting."
After middle age, both of their lives gradually became stable. Xiao Ming reached management level at the company, and Xiao Fang’s design studio also had a steady team. They rarely mentioned childhood anymore, but whenever moments of “showing off” and “being shown off” appeared in life, one of them would still think of the sunlight by the sandpit, and those two childish, unrestrained lines of conversation.
One year at an old classmates' reunion, someone brought it up again. This time, Xiao Ming didn't avoid it but calmly said:
"That was the time I lost most completely, and also the time I most deserved to lose. She taught me that some things are not won by possessing them, but by responding to them."
Xiaofang listened nearby without joining the conversation, just gently raising her glass to clink with his from a distance.
The sound of the glass clinking was light, yet it seemed to gently bring together many years of time.
The story has no more climaxes from here. What remains is just two children who once competed with each other, now变成会心一笑的大人. They carefully stored that most absurd conversation in their memories, treating it both as a joke and a reminder—
Remind myself, winning or losing has never been the most important thing.
What's important is that many years later, you can still talk about it with a smile and not feel awkward.
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