Saturday morning sunlight streamed through the bank’s floor-to-ceiling windows, and the air carried a faint smell of disinfectant and banknote ink. There were not many people in the lobby, but there was still a short queue. Ms. Lin stood in the middle of the line with her nineteen-year-old son Haohao, holding a passbook and ID card in her hands, mentally calculating the transfer and wealth management she needed to handle today.
Behind her was her tall yet still boyish son, while in front stood an exceptionally voluptuous middle-aged woman. The woman was neatly dressed in a dark bank uniform that was clearly too tight—the buttons on her blouse were nearly bursting from the weight of her heavy breasts, and the fabric around her waist and abdomen was stretched into a smooth curve, faintly revealing the outline of her navel. Most exaggerated were her buttocks—two massive, round, heavy, and elastic mounds that seemed about to burst through the back of her skirt. With her occasional steps, they swayed gently from side to side, the deep cleft between them so profound it could almost directly clamp a bank card, or even half a palm. A black old-style pager hung at her waist, swaying slightly with her movements as if about to fall off at any moment.
Haohao initially just glanced casually, but then his gaze was firmly captured by those two huge buttocks. His eyes slightly glazed over, his Adam's apple bobbed up and down, and he couldn't help but lower his voice, but it was still heard by a few people next in line:
“Damn... Mom, her butt is way too big. So tight you can even see the flesh shaking when she walks. This fabric’s almost about to burst.”
Ms. Lin's expression instantly changed. She quickly nudged him with her elbow and lowered her voice to warn, 'Haohao! Keep your voice down! Mind your manners! This is a public place!'
Haohao shrank his neck, superficially nodding obediently, but his eyes never left those two swaying lumps of flesh. Less than a minute later, he suddenly seemed struck by inspiration. Stretching his arms out as wide as possible, in front of the entire queue, he announced in a clear, loud, and completely unconcealed voice:
“I guess her butt is this wide! Maybe two people could sit in it directly, one on each side. There might even be room to stuff a thermos in the gap in the middle.”
That shout instantly silenced the waiting area for half a second. The air seemed to freeze. The plump woman in front visibly stiffened, her shoulders giving a slight tremble as she slowly turned her head, her gaze landing on Haohao with a mix of shame and anger. Her face was already flushing, yet she struggled to maintain a professional aloofness. Ms. Lin wished she could vanish into a crack in the floor on the spot, hurriedly bowing and scraping in apology:
“I’m really sorry! This kid has no manners, please don’t take it to heart... he just has a loose mouth, please don’t mind him...”
The fat woman didn't say a word, just gave them a cold glance before turning back around. But as she turned, those two enormous buttocks, squeezed even tighter by the uniform fabric, were once again directly facing Haohao, slightly rising and falling with her gentle breaths. The cleft between them deepened and closed with her movements. The back of her skirt was pushed up high, the fabric stretched taut over the peaks of her buttocks, creating fine wrinkles, faintly revealing the marks where her underwear edges dug into her flesh.
Haohao's eyes were fixed, and he added in a voice low enough for those nearby to hear:
“Mom, look at that curve…… so round and heavy, swaying apart on both sides when she walks, the slit in the middle is almost being stretched open. If she were reversing, how long would the radar be beeping? I bet the reversing camera would directly show two little mountains.”
Ms. Lin's face flushed red, just about to scold him again, when at that moment—
Beep... beep... beep...
The pager at his waist suddenly rang, its sound crisp and rhythmic, particularly piercing in the quiet bank. That sound was like some kind of countdown, or like some kind of danger signal.
Haohao's eyes lit up, as if finally waiting for the best moment, and he shouted with all his might:
“Run! She’s backing up! If that huge ass backs up, we’ll all get knocked flying! The radar’s going to sound the alarm!”
The entire bank instantly erupted into uncontrollable laughter. Some people doubled over, clutching their stomachs and unable to straighten up; others pretended to cough while their shoulders shook violently; even the young teller inside the counter couldn't help but lower her head and chuckle, her fingers tapping chaotically on the keyboard. Several middle-aged men in line exchanged knowing glances, while the younger ones directly covered their mouths and laughed heartily.
The fat woman's neck instantly flushed red to her ears, her ears burning hot. She fumbled to press the pager, those two enormous buttocks swaying more violently with her flustered movements, the fabric making faint friction sounds. She pressed several times before turning off the pager, turning back to glare fiercely at Haohao, her voice urgent and embarrassed. 'You... how can you say such things, child!'
Ms. Lin completely broke down, grabbing Haohao and dragging him to the very back of the line, almost fleeing to put distance between them. As Haohao was dragged away, he didn't forget to look back and added another sentence:
“Mom, a big truck reversing sounds like this too. With the size of her ass, wouldn’t the reversing lights be flashing all the way across the road? I’m guessing she’d need to hang two reflective boards to be safe.”
This time, Ms. Lin truly couldn't care about politeness. Only when they reached a corner did she lower her voice and scold, 'You're nineteen and still like this? Saying in public that someone's butt can seat two people, or that they're reversing? Do you even care about face? That person is at least a decent working professional. Aren't you ashamed of yourself?'
Haohao looked innocent, even a bit proud: 'I'm stating facts. Didn't you see the uniform stretched into shape? Take two steps, and the flesh waves start rising. When the pager beeped, my mind automatically added a reversing camera image—two white lumps of flesh backing up, with that crevice still swaying in the middle. Mom, it's not my fault; her butt is just too noticeable.'
Ms. Lin was both angry and helpless, ultimately having to give up on communicating. She stuffed the passbook into her bag, deciding to wait for the people ahead to finish before queuing again, and to let her son calm down in the meantime. But Haohao's eyes still glanced forward from time to time, a smile he couldn't suppress lingering at the corner of his mouth.
The line slowly moved forward. The plump woman finally reached the counter, and as she bent over to hand over her documents, those two enormous buttocks were once again tightly constricted by the fabric, almost spilling over the edge of her skirt. Haohao whispered from behind, 'Look, it's even more exaggerated when she bends over... I bet you can see the shape from under the counter.'
Ms. Lin pinched him hard: 'Shut up!'
After the business was handled, the fat woman turned and left with the receipt in hand. As she passed Haohao, she deliberately slowed her pace a little; the two lumps of flesh swayed rhythmically from side to side with her steps, like two water-filled rubber balls. Haohao stared for two seconds and couldn’t help muttering again, "Mom, she really walks like a reversing warning. Every step is telling the people around her—watch out, a massive object is approaching."
Ms. Lin was almost at her breaking point, pulling him quickly out of the bank. After getting into the car, Haohao couldn't help but laugh again:
“Mom, next time when we’re lining up, if there’s another giant…… one like that in front, I promise I’ll keep my voice down. But about reversing the car, I really wasn’t wrong. The moment that radio call went off, the whole scene’s atmosphere was instantly maxed out. Look how happily those people are laughing.”
Ms. Lin facepalmed, deciding to handle bank matters herself as much as possible in the future. But deep down, she also faintly felt that the scene just now was indeed absurdly funny—it's just that as a mother, she had to maintain a semblance of dignity.
And in the bank, the woman whose ample buttocks were publicly commented on spent the rest of that day feeling countless gazes fixed on her rear, tightly constrained by her uniform, with every step she took. When she went to the pantry for water, passing colleagues would instinctively glance twice; washing her hands in the restroom, the mirror reflected her curvaceous silhouette, and she couldn't help pressing it lightly, feeling both shame and annoyance. The pager never beeped again, yet she kept hearing that phrase echoing in her ears—
“Run, she’s backing up!”
At 3:00 p.m., there were even fewer people at the bank. The fat woman stood behind the counter processing documents. When customers came by, she would unconsciously tilt her body a little, trying not to let her butt face others directly. But the uniform was too tight; the bigger her movements, the more those two lumps of flesh swayed. In her heart, she secretly swore that when she got back, she would definitely have this uniform altered to be looser, or simply apply to change to one size larger.
At the same time, Mrs. Lin drove Haohao back to the school dormitory. On the way, Haohao was still savoring the moment:
“Mom, if she really reversed the car, what would the radar sound like? ‘beep beep beep beep’ nonstop, and the screen would directly show two red warning icons. If I were driving a truck and saw an ass like that, I’d definitely have to take a detour.”
Ms. Lin finally couldn't help but laugh out loud, then immediately put on a stern face: 'You talk less. Next time you dare to act like this in public, I really won't care about you anymore.'
Haohao chuckled, leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes. His mind was still replaying the two huge buttocks tightly wrapped in fabric, that deep crevice, and the image of them shaking violently when the pager beeped. He felt that today's trip to the bank was more worthwhile than any business transaction.
In the evening, the bank closed. The fat woman changed back into her casual clothes, and when she walked out the door she deliberately pulled her coat tightly around herself. But when she reached the parking lot, a young security guard still looked at her a second longer, the corners of his mouth slightly raised. Her heart tightened. She quickened her pace and climbed into the car. When she started the engine, that line flashed through her mind again: “Run, she’s reversing.”
She smiled bitterly and muttered to herself: 'Reversing is reversing... anyway, this butt is my own, if others like to look, let them look.'
The car slowly backed out of the parking space, and the parking sensor indeed beeped—beep... beep... beep...
She was taken aback for a moment, then couldn't help but laugh out loud. This time, the radar's beeping wasn't grating; instead, it felt like some kind of absurd echo.
And on the other side, Haohao returned to the dormitory and vividly recounted today's experience to his roommates. The roommates laughed so hard they rolled on their beds, and someone even slapped the table: 'Bro, your mouth is too sharp! Reverse alarm? I want to encounter that kind of scene at the bank tomorrow.'
Haohao spread his hands proudly: 'Just facts. That butt could really seat two people; if you don't believe me, go measure it.'
It's late at night. Mrs. Lin lies on the bed, recalling the scene from daytime, and the corners of her mouth still can't help but lift. She knows her son is hopeless when it comes to that mouth of his, but an occasional absurd, raunchy quip like that does make an ordinary life a little more laugh-filled.
Only next time, she really had to seal her son’s mouth first.
The next day, the bank operated as usual. The plump woman changed into a slightly looser uniform, but those two naturally huge buttocks still stretched the fabric to its limits. Standing behind the counter, she occasionally heard the pager (actually the newly replaced phone) beep once, and she would subconsciously feel her heart race, afraid someone would suddenly shout 'Backing up!' again.
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