On a sunlit morning, Lina was busy in the kitchen. She was wiping down the stove while listening to knocking coming from outside the door. The sound was steady, not hurried, yet carried a sense of urgency that could not be ignored. Lina wiped her hands and walked to the front door. She gently opened a crack in it and looked closely—outside stood a tall, sturdy man. Broad shoulders, a rough face, and a trace of a fierce look made his presence apparent at a glance. The man stared straight at Lina and said in a low voice with an oppressive tone: “Do you have B?”
Lena's heart sank heavily. She immediately realized this was not a kind greeting but an intrusion. Her face instantly turned ashen, anger surging in her heart. She slammed the door shut with a heavy "bang," her heart still pounding wildly. This sudden knock was like a needle piercing her heart. Lena took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She pushed open the window and softly called down to the street below: "I'm sorry, sir, my home does not welcome such disturbances." Without another glance, she closed the window.
That morning, Lena's emotions hadn't calmed down. She had originally planned to make breakfast for her husband, but the kitchen knife in her hand trembled slightly due to anger. Standing by the window, she looked at the empty street below and silently thought: This kind of person is really so rude! The kitchen was filled with the faint aroma of coffee, but she had no appetite at all. Lena recalled the scene from earlier, and the anger in her heart was simply indescribable. She felt her dignity had been violated; she couldn't let such a small thing affect her happiness for the day.
She took a few deep breaths, telling herself to stay calm. Lena tidied the newspapers on the table, ready to start watching the news. She suddenly noticed an interesting article in the newspaper, which told the story of a housewife using her wits to defeat a thief. A slight smile appeared at the corner of Lena's mouth as she thought: If I encountered such a situation, I could definitely come up with a solution too. She believed her mind worked quickly and could surely turn this into a joke.
In the afternoon, Lina received a call from her husband. She told her husband what had just happened, and her husband burst out laughing on the phone, his voice full of humor. Her husband said: “Darling, you did a good job. Let’s think of a way together and laugh it off to our hearts’ content.” Lina immediately felt much more at ease. She felt that her husband’s encouragement helped her regain her confidence. She believed that with their joint efforts, this matter would surely become interesting.
In the evening, Lena lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. She kept thinking: Will that man come again tomorrow? If he does, what should she do? Lena thought and thought, and finally decided to tell her mother about it. After listening, her mother patted her shoulder and said, 'Sweetie, you need to face it bravely. Family is our strength; we face any challenge together.' Lena's heart felt warm, and she felt she had a strong support.
The next morning, after Lina woke up, sunlight streamed into the room through the window. She put on comfortable clothes, ready to welcome the new day. She took a deep breath, telling herself to maintain an optimistic attitude. Lina busied herself in the kitchen, prepared breakfast, and waited for her family to arrive. Her mood gradually calmed down; she believed everything would be alright.
In the afternoon, Lina was drying clothes on the balcony when she suddenly heard knocking at the door downstairs. Her heartbeat quickened, and she subconsciously stopped what she was doing. She walked down the stairs to the door and gently opened it. Outside, the burly man appeared again. He still stared at Lina with the same ferocity, his voice carrying a hint of cunning: “Do you have B?” Lina was startled. She quickly shut the door and decided to tell her husband about it.
Lena dialed her husband's number and told him what had just happened. Her husband laughed over the phone: "Honey, you must be brave. I won't go to work tomorrow; we'll deal with him together." Lena felt reassured; she believed in her husband's wisdom and courage. Lena felt that as long as they faced such things together, there was nothing to fear.
In the evening, Lena lay in bed, her mind constantly replaying the scene from yesterday. She thought: If my husband also faced this man like that, the scene would surely be interesting. She imagined her husband bravely standing behind the door, wondering what the burly man's reaction would be. Lena's heart was filled with anticipation; she believed this incident would become a joke everyone would laugh about.
On the morning of the third day, Lena got up early. She prepared breakfast, ready to face the day. She took a deep breath and told herself to stay calm and humorous. Lena busied herself in the kitchen, waiting for the burly man's arrival. Her mood grew calmer; she believed everything would become interesting.
Around nine in the morning, Lina was tidying up in the living room when she suddenly heard knocking outside the door. Her heartbeat quickened, and she took a deep breath before opening the door. Outside, a burly man was standing there, asking fiercely, “Do you have B?” Lina was startled, but she forced herself to stay calm and said, “Yes.” A flash of surprise crossed the man’s eyes. He froze for a moment, then smiled and said, “Fine, then go back and tell your husband not to come fuck with my wife, damn it.”
After the burly man finished speaking, he turned and ran. Lina stood at the door, stunned. She had not expected the burly man to be afraid so quickly. Her mind raced as she thought: her husband would definitely be very happy. She smilingly told her husband about it, and her husband laughed loudly on the phone, saying, "Honey, you did wonderfully."
Lena and her husband chatted about this amusing incident in the living room. Her husband said, "Honey, you must bravely face any challenge. I'm proud of you." Lena's heart filled with warmth; she felt she was the luckiest wife in the world. Lena felt this event had become a beautiful memory for their family.
In the evening, Lena lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. She kept thinking: what should she do if she encounters such a situation again in the future? Lena thought and thought, and finally decided to tell her friend about it. After listening, her friend patted her shoulder and said, 'Sweetie, you need to face it bravely. Friends are our strength; we face any challenge together.' Lena's heart felt warm, and she felt she had a strong support.
Xiaomei was Lina's close friend from university; they shared the same dorm for four years and often met up on weekends to chat after graduation. After hearing Lina recount the "Third Knock Incident," Xiaomei was stunned for a few seconds, then burst into laughter, tears nearly streaming from her eyes: "Oh my god, Lina! That move of yours is absolutely brilliant! That big guy turned and ran right after you said 'have,' and even cursed his mom? Hahaha, if this story were posted on social media, it would definitely go viral!"
Xiaomei's words warmed Lina's heart. She sat up in bed, rubbed her eyes, and said, "Xiaomei, you don't know how scared I was—my heart was about to stop—but I held my breath and told myself I couldn't lose. And then... then he ran away himself!"
Xiaomei caught her breath and continued, "I'll give you some advice right now! Next time you encounter such a pervert, don't just close the door—put on an act! For example, while closing the door, say, 'Sir, are you sure you're here to discuss business? Our family doesn't sell pussy; we sell cars!' Or just ask him outright, 'Are you here to knock on the door or knock on pussy?' That'll definitely scare him off himself!"
Lena couldn't help but laugh out loud: "Xiao Mei, aren't you being too sharp-tongued? I'll try it tomorrow!"
Early the next morning, Lina was preparing breakfast in the kitchen as usual, sunlight just streaming through the window. Xiaomei arrived an hour early. The two women huddled together in the living room, preparing to perform an 'upgraded version' comedy skit. Xiaomei even specifically brought her phone, recording function on, ready to screenshot and send to the group at any time.
At ten o’clock sharp in the morning, that familiar knocking sounded again. Lina took a deep breath, walked to the door, and gently opened a crack. Outside, the burly man was once again standing there menacingly, his voice still in that fierce tone: “Do you have B?”
Lena suppressed the fear in her heart and replied, pretending to be somewhat scared yet witty: "Yes... but may I ask, are you here to discuss business, or... to deliver flowers?"
The burly man froze. His rough face twisted instantly, and his eyes bulged like brass bells. Stammering, he said, "Y-you... what did you say? G-give... give flowers?!" Then he suddenly turned and ran, faster than last time, almost kicking all the shoes in the corridor flying.
The husband hiding behind the door and Xiao Mei jumped out from the shadows simultaneously, and the three of them burst into laughter together. The husband laughed so hard he couldn't straighten up: 'Honey, that line 'the flower delivery guy' was absolutely perfect! His face was even more awkward than the underwear I wore yesterday!'
Xiaomei held up her phone to record the entire process, excitedly shouting, "Lina! You've become an internet celebrity! 'The housewife who says 'have'!' Hahaha, next time I'll give you a username: Lina the Pussy Door Expert!"
The three of them laughed so hard they almost fell to the ground. Just then, Neighbor Grandma Wang happened to pass by. Hearing the noise, she came over, and upon seeing this scene, first asked in confusion: “What’s going on? Did someone come knocking again?”
Xiaomei blinked and directly pointed her phone camera at Granny Wang: "Granny Wang, do you want to give it a try too? Lina is now the inventor of 'knockout door tricks'!"
Granny Wang愣 (stunned) for half a second, then laughed heartily: 'Oh my, these old bones have lived for sixty or seventy years, but this is the first time I've seen such a creative way of knocking on the door to harass someone! Lina, you have to teach me this trick!'
From that day on, Lina’s home became known throughout the neighborhood as the 'funny spokesperson.' Whenever a stranger knocked on the door, the neighbors would call ahead to remind her: 'Lina, Big B is here again! Are you ready with your special move?'
Once, a middle-aged man knocked on the door, his voice particularly stern: 'Do you have B?' Lina replied in the same tone: 'Yes! But may I ask, are you here to discuss B, or to deliver B?' The man was so angry he rolled his eyes, his face red and neck thick as he shouted: 'You... what do you mean?!' Then he stormed off in a huff.
Another young man knocked on the door, with a sly look in his eyes: “Do you have B?” Lina smiled and said: “Yes! But I only give it to my husband alone. Do you want to bring your wife’s B over first?” The young man turned around and disappeared at the stairwell on the spot, repeatedly saying “Yes, yes, yes.”
Every time Xiaomei came over, she brought surprise gifts—not chocolates, but her compiled collection of "Golden Knock Phrases." Lina would recite them daily, then go home and tell her husband, and the couple would laugh together. Her husband always said, "Honey, you're not just acting; you're creating a world record."
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